Saturday, October 15, 2005

how many times a day do you think about the end of the world?

i'm averaging 3.

Monday, October 10, 2005

desperate times.

girl 1 (to girl 2): i saw the strangest thing today.
girl 2: what was that?
girl 1: i saw this girl actually, purposely, fall down the stairs in order to get a guy's attention.
girl 2: no.
girl 1: yes. she was walking and i saw her look back, check out this hot guy, raise an eyebrow, and then sort of chuck her semi-full plastic bag in front of her and kind of fall to the side of it. right down the stairs.
girl 2: no.
girl 1: yes.
girl 2: are you sure?
girl 1: yes.
girl 2: what was in the plastic bag?
girl 1: possibly clothing.
girl 1: so, the guy comes running over and asks her if she's okay, if he should call someone, he doesn't want to move her if she's really hurt. and then they talk during the whole train ride until he gets off at his stop.
girl 2: he must have been really cute.
girl 1: yes, yes he was.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

growing pains


I’m craving a cigarette. I have been for weeks now. and it even seems fitting.
I don’t smoke (I’ve never even tried a cigarette) and frankly I think smoke is obtrusive. yet still, I sit at my desk, restlessly twist my feet and roll my ankles, and think about how I’d like to take a cigarette break.
I’d like to stand outside on the sidewalk, facing the shrubs at about 3 o’clock in the afternoon, inhale deeply and exhale smoothly and stare at passing traffic. I’d also like to walk down a brick sidewalk in high- heeled shoes and long earrings and feel the inside of my wrist brush my hip as my bent hand balances the smoke between my fingers.
one time, last week, the craving got so bad that I started wondering if, in fact, I’d been a smoker in a past life. worse, maybe I’ve been “sleep smoking” and I haven’t even been aware of my dirty habit. I considered media influences, which might make me think smoking is cool (because a cartoon camel is doing it), but I don’t watch tv (or at least I didn’t before simon).
regardless, a cartoon camel can't explain the persistence of this craving even after yesterday, when I caught a glimpse of a woman who looked a whole lot like me, standing on the street corner smoking a cigarette. before I could cognitively process my visual field, I thought what I always think when I see someone with freckles, smoking—
it’s dirty.
not bad dirty.
not hot dirty.
dirty.
the kind that leaves a strange and pasty and terribly bitter aftertaste.

simon says


we picked up our new tv, simon, 3 days ago.
i have watched 3 times since then.

1. law and order episode about a middle-aged white man who rapes 11 year old girls and then beats them post mortum because he is "angry"
2. carmen electra: "i did the whole stripper thing and i'm over it, now i'm into fashion" this quote was subsequently followed by another show featuring carmen electra half naked with a guitar between her legs.
3. pillsbury perfect portions commercial, where even muffins have a significant other.