not sleeping anymore

one small space

the weather’s been temperamental today and so have i.
it's cool sometimes, and the breeze pauses behind my knees for a rest.
other times it's hot, and the air just won’t leave me alone.

during the latter, I’ve been using my chinese paper fan to cool myself. my chinese paper fan, purchased with two, maybe three tickets, during one good time. I admit here, in my safe place, I can’t part with it. the others, the ones you left on purpose, have been disposed of. mostly, everything is gone, like your voice, settled into the phone on a late schoolnight. i took your t-shirt and your book and your socks and I dropped them off for someone less fortunate. I deleted your phone number, your emails, your presents, your presence in my life. i didn't waste the time. because you can't get it back after you waste it.

it’s been 6 months.

My Chinese paper fan is useful in several ways: it folds thin, conveniently and can be fastened with this witty plastic strap. the colors are green and pink, my favorites. it's lightweight, small, and fits in most of my purses. on a hot day, it’s there for the using. on a cool day, it doesn’t seem to be taking up any excessive amount of space. the thin paper hasn't broken yet, through several uses.
like i said, although it does take up space,
it doesn’t seem excessive.
not an excessive amount of space-
just a small one.
one small space.

posted by d @ 11:30 PM