not sleeping anymore

I'm not much for anniversaries,

but here's me one year ago exactly, attempting to describe public transportation.

“The Unspoken Irrefutable Ever-Present Social Rules of the T”

Rule 1:
Passengers are to remain quiet at all times. This includes, but is not limited to the following restrictions:

a) no cell phone usage
b) no casual/deep philosophical conversations with passengers related to or traveling with you
c) no talking to strangers
*note: breaking rule 1a-b will result in any/all of the following:
a) scolding glances
b) adjustment of passenger positions on the train
(for breaking rule 1c please see rule # 2)

Rule 2:
Speaking to other passengers is strictly prohibited. There might be certain circumstances for which it seems reasonable to break this rule, but please be advised, in actuality, there are no exceptions. Consider the following examples of reasonable circumstances that are NOT exceptions:

scenario 1. you spot another passenger wearing a sweatshirt with the name of a school 2000+ miles away that you also attended (yes, I actually saw someone with a Stetson sweatshirt)

scenario 2. you need the time

scenario 3. you spot a passenger wearing a sweatshirt with the name of a school you currently attend.

scenario 4. you are waiting at a T-stop with the same one person, everyday, at the same time, and this person is your age and attending your school (or at least wearing the sweatshirt), for over 5 minutes.

note: failure to comply with rule # 2can have disastrous consequences. please be advised, that in the event you mistakenly assume it is okay to speak with strangers, the following are bound to occur:
1. passengers seated/standing around will reposition themselves far away from you.
2. psychologically challenged or homeless individuals will take this opportunity to move closer, as you have now established yourself as one open to speaking with strangers and a violator of social rules.
Rule 3:
Eye contact is strictly forbidden. That’s what all the stupid posters are for. (It’s okay to stare at people though, just as long as they don’t see you do it).

posted by d @ 8:47 PM