not sleeping anymore

green beans for french fries and other fraudulent claims

I created a diet once, in which I constructed two important levels of caloric restriction. During stage 1, I vowed to cut out everything I deemed to be an “unnecessary” fat. Included in this group were obvious fats like chocolates, cookies, cakes, sweets in general, fried foods, potato chips, etc. Stage 1 was potentially followed by stage 2 in which I reduced not so obvious, minor, unnecessary fats. Included in this group, which I felt to be the main contributors to weight gain, were butter or margarine, mayo, salad dressing, etc. Stage 1 would usually be employed when I suddenly felt a little “chunky”. Stage 2 was only followed through if within 2 weeks, stage 1 had not produced visible signs or even marked feelings of results. On occasion, stage 2 was initiated prior to stage 1 (but this occurred only during situations in which my chocolate consumption was already well under control). The genius of my diet, however, was not the stages (although that part really is beautiful), rather genius lied in my idea of substitution. For every necessary or unnecessary fat I eliminated, I created a “healthier” “less-fat” substitution. Now you might doubt my genius at this point, thinking that my ideas are far from original and perhaps were inspired during a stroll down the “fat-free” section of my grocery store. However I am adamantly against fat-free, low-fat, low sugar, low sodium, low taste foods. The methodology underlying my substitutions has nothing to do with indigestible molecules.
Consider:
carrots for chips (because they are both crunchy)
raisins for chocolate (because they are both sweet and brown)
whipped cream cheese for butter, mayo, etc. (because it has less fat naturally )
ketchup/BBQ sauce for sour cream (I don’t know what inspired that)
rice pudding for ice cream (although I had to use the single serving packs)
and so on.
The simple dogma: if you can’t what you really want to eat, eat something that feels like it.

It’s been a few years since I’ve dieted, but last night while eating dinner, I found myself pretending my green beans were French fries.

posted by d @ 5:39 PM